Truth, by Kamasi Washington

(Please watch the video before reading this)

One of the best ways to learn about my culture has always been music. From learning about love as a kid via Stevie Wonder and Nina Simone to understanding oppression by way of some of Hip-Hop’s best MCs, music is vital to Black culture. For the past couple years, I have done small write-ups on albums and shared songs of the day for Black History Month, but this month I wanted to add another layer of analysis into the mix. Recently, I have gotten into a bit of a routine when it comes to media that I consume. When I hang out with friends and watch videos with them, we always have to cycle through 4-5 comedic videos we all love before moving on to new things. You could say that these videos have become formative experiences, and represent a bond between us, but among the funny there is one serious music video that I have made sure to share with as many of my friends in person as possible: “Truth,” by Kamasi Washington.

Now I have already spoken at length about Kamasi and his work, but for those who may not know, he is a Jazz saxophonist and composer, with two fantastic albums under his belt and concrete understanding of how to make music that feels alive. With this music video, due in no small part to the writing and direction of AG Rojas, Kamasi’s music takes on a new dimension and captures the very essence of why I strive to make art. Now, before I get into my breakdown of why this video is so effective, I’d like to talk about the state of Jazz in America for a second. Jazz is a Black musical form once heralded as devil music and fostered in the night clubs of bustling urban environments. It is a culmination and celebration of conflict combined with the freedom for artists to express themselves. The story of Jazz is much more violent and heartbreaking than the black tie vibes of Jazz taught in modern music schools would ever show. This isn’t to say I have a disdain for Jazz being taught formally in majorly White institutions, I am actually glad that the music is still being kept alive and I have grown a lot personally due to my white friends who play Jazz, but the genre’s mainstream shift away from its Black roots plays a huge role in the context of “Truth.” The visuals, composition, and overall narrative of “Truth” all tie back to Jazz’s acquired multiculturalism.

“Truth,” in a nutshell, is about the connectivity of everything in existence. This may seem a bit...far out, but it approaches such a vast and immersive thesis through its lush visuals. The video opens up with a shot of the cosmos, which is about as grand as you can get, before showing us a young Black boy. The video would like you to believe he is one of the main characters of the story that is starting to unfold, but I believe every person who shows up on screen has a similar level of importance, with some getting more screen time to show different parts of their lives. We are shown the boy’s mother, in what looks like a comfortably furnished apartment, before shifting to a young Latina woman in what looks like a coming-of-age celebration surrounded by religious symbols and loved ones. From here the video shows us different portraits of people's lives in America, each shot carefully filled with a specific purpose. Close-ups on bibles, the mother and her son talking to each other playfully, and young men posed in front of a screen in what looks like a makeshift photo studio, draped in a traditional looking garb. The visuals are dense and packed with too many details to catch on the first watch, my favorite of which being a bird’s-eye shot of two young men wrestling in a field, surrounded by pink and red flower petals that make up the perfect circle of their ring. Everything is gorgeous and given the same amount of respect and treatment, connecting entirely different communities and cultures seamlessly through how scenes are shot.

The music gives these scenes another bit of life entirely. As I talked about in my 2017 album wrap-up, Kamasi’s Harmony of Difference is a musical project where every song is made up of the same melodies and musical ideas, which all culminate in the final track “Truth,” adding a sense of familiarity by the time you hit the last song. When that song is the score to a blending of cultural differences, it achieves a very similar effect. The music serves as a the glue for every visual idea you see during the course of the video. Each lick, melody, chord change and musical swell fits perfectly within the language the video is introducing you to. This is obviously due to smart editing, but the illusion that every part of this video was created at the same time for the same purpose is astounding. You start associating different instruments with certain characters and filling the blanks in your head of what this puzzle could be about. The music is an audio representation of the concept of being connected. At a point it stops feeling like music and starts to tug on you like it is an actual force. A big part of Kamasi’s music is a sense of spirituality. Never coming off as especially religious himself, he instead composes songs that are larger than the sum of their parts. The musical cogs of the song go together perfectly, but they also create something more powerful than just a number of musicians in sync. You hear struggle and resolutions that are reflected in the aforementioned visual focus of the music video.

The narrative of the video is abstract, but not absent. The story focuses on connecting the dots, a bunch of points across the real world with seemingly little connection, and reassuring the viewer that they’re all part of the same cosmos. One shot in particular takes up one third of the video and may be the strongest case for this connection. It is a seemingly static shot of two Black men in what looks like the backstage area of a theater, both reading a newspaper and minding their own business. Meanwhile the camera is slowly zooming in on the man on the right side of the screen, moving at a snail's pace. Musically, at this point in the song, Kamasi starts taking a solo. As the solo builds and becomes more fierce, the rate the camera is zooming does not change. So while we are given the audio treatment of a lifetime visually the shot is mundane as could be. The brilliant revelation that this gave me upon watching it was that the music we hear is actually coming from the man on the right as he reads his newspaper, showing that even when we as POC aren’t in the act of being creative that we have ties so some of the richest art and culture imaginable. It's an uplifting message that resonated with me directly as someone who spends most of my time each day working a retail job. This is the reaffirmation of the roots of Jazz, showing the view that our bond with our music and culture isn’t going to diminish just because non-POC start playing Jazz standards. No one gets to choose what part of culture applies to them and what doesn’t; we inherit everything from love to war, and seeing that all reflected in such a static shot was breathtaking. So many moments of shots fading perfectly into other shots as the music cues a specific emotion are the foundation of this video, and the more you watch it the more you understand how everything is connected.

“Truth” stands as a monument to the beauty of multiculturalism. It respects boundaries and allows the viewer to see how various different different cultures in our society live, love and fit into the grand scheme of existence. All the while it feels genuine and warm, lacking the air of pretentiousness one would expect from such a bold artistic statement. There are so many moments in this video that take me to a special place, and so many moments I don’t understand because they illustrate a life I didn’t grow up in, and that is the whole point. Kamasi believes that we are all connected, and it is the differences between us that give birth to great art and culture. So as you reflect on this Black History Month, in addition to raving about Black Panther with your friends, also remember that culture isn’t something that you do, it is just you. Regardless of what kind of life you lead you are connected to a rich tapestry of those who came before you and those who will come after you, and that truth is absolute and beautiful.

A Proper Approach to Horror

Spoiler Warning for Doki-Doki Literature Club

My personal relationship with horror media is a bit atypical. As a kid I hated anything scary. In fact, I remember not being able to walk to a certain part of the movie theater because a huge poster for “Seed of Chucky” was on display. Somewhere down the line, however, that all changed. I am still not sure myself as to when this happened, but one day I could just do horror. I found a group of friends willing to watch anything scary and make fun of it to lighten the mood, dove heavy into Wikipedia to research classic horror movies and games that would become huge formative experiences for me, and treated the horror genre as just that: a genre of entertainment.

Horror possess a special quality that most other genres I love do not, which is to say most things under the tag “horror” that I have experienced are, for lack of a better word, bad. Bad moves, bad games and bad stories make up the bulk of available scary media, and one needs to dig to find gems. I believe this comes mainly from of creators not knowing the difference between scaring someone and making someone feel scared. Namely, scaring someone is just jumping out from behind a door when they weren't expecting it and making their heart skip, while calling someone and telling them you saw something sneak into their house at night is a way to make that person feel scared. It is for that reason I want to bring your attention to one of my favorite video games of 2017, and the catalyst for this write-up: Doki Doki Literature Club.

DDLC is a visual novel game that you can download for free. It is also a special game for a lot of reasons, one of which being that it is the scariest thing I have subjected myself to in years. The basic premise of the game involves playing as a male avatar in an anime setting who joins a literature club full of four distinct girls who you try to romance via writing poetry. There's Sayori (red bow), Yuri (long purple hair), Natskuki (pink hair), and Monika (long brown hair). These girls all have personalities made up of tried and true anime tropes. Sayori is your happy-go-lucky childhood friend, Yuri is a quiet and sensible bookworm, Natsuki shows her affection through aggression while being a fan of cutesy things, and Monika is the naturally talented and cheerful president of the club. On the surface it is a cute game about trying to win the heart of the girl that you like most, not uncommon to visual novels, and that in itself is the first piece of what makes the game such a beautifully dark puzzle.

Right when you start up the game you get a content warning that the game is not made for kids, which would be one thing if the game had adult content, but it lists “disturbing content” specifically as the reason young players should avoid the game. After that you name your character and join the club, meeting the girls and familiarizing yourself with the only unique gameplay mechanic DDLC has to offer, writing poems. Every day in the club you get to read each member’s poems, ranging from deeply metaphorical pieces done by Yuri to the simple but effective work written by Natsuki, syles that you can imitate when it comes to creating your own pieces. You write poems by picking words off of a list with 10 words on it, each word corresponding to either Sayori, Yuri or Natsuki, which you can see as tiny avatars in the corner of the page. After you have picked 20 words, you get to spend the next day at school with whomever liked your poem the most, subtly changing your relationship with the girls after each poem. Some of the words used for the poem are a bit alarming though, words like “suicide” and “depression” popping up admist happier words like “candy” and “fireworks”, with dark words resonating well with a girl you may not expect. This combined with the disclaimer are your only indication that the game is about something other than cute girls.

Over the course of your days at school you start to notice that Sayori is acting weird, keeping quiet instead of being her usual extraverted self. When you as the player confront her at her house about this, in a scene which in any other visual novel would be the point where she confesses her love for you, she instead tells you she is severely depressed. Her feelings for you play into it though, creating a jealousy that Sayori doesn't want and thus causing her to try and pull away from you as a result. We as players learn that all of the shortcomings usually just attributed to her anime character type are actually due to her depression. After trying to comfort her and assuring her that you will be supportive through her darkest times, you promise to hang out with her at an upcoming school festival (that the literature club is running an event for) and say goodbye to her, only for her to see you hanging out with one of the other girls from the club in your house later that day, troubling her further. The next day as you head to school you notice Sayori is absent, and a poem that she wrote for the literature club consists of her writing the words “get out of my head” written over and over on it. When you decide to go see if your friend is okay, you find her dead in her room, having hanged herself, and you receive a screen that just says “END.” It is here where the game went from making me anxious to creating a full-blown sense of dread in my stomach, as the game then restarts from the beginning without Sayori in it, deleting her character file from your computer’s DDLC game folder, and erasing her existence within that world.

It is here in this second run of the game or Act 2 (which could very well take you 2-3 hours to get to depending on how fast you read and how engrossed you are in the story) that the disturbing horror rears its head. The game glitches constantly, the character portraits distort briefly before they appear on screen, disturbing poems and images show up in the folder of your game on your computer, and every single comfort you built up in Act 1 is taken away from you. This is the genius that is DDLC's understanding of horror; the scary parts of the game aren't something happening to your avatar, they are happening to you as someone playing the game. The innumerable scary details that change throughout Act 2 are never commented on by the avatar, but each and every single change is noticed by you, and it feels like the game starts to play you as opposed to the opposite. This creates an eerie disconnect between role-playing a character and feeling targeted as a player. Yuri, Natsuki and Monika all exhibit obsessive and terrifying behavior (based on who you try to romance in Act 2) that you do not have the have the ability to comment on as your avatar. You become trapped in a nightmare in which your only way to meaningfully interact with these characters is taken away from you, leaving you feeling isolated playing something that ultimately stops feeling like a video game.

What makes this feeling of dread all the more tangible, however, was the act that preceded it. Act 1 is vital to the overall story, complete with character arcs, twists and narrative hooks that get you invested in the characters. Without that comfort that we were able to latch onto, taking it away wouldn't mean anything. At the same time, however, Act 2 doesn't just come out of nowhere. There are hints at the game’s darker nature from moment one and there is a natural progression and flow into the scariness of the latter half. Once you find out why the game feels like it is playing you, everything is re-contextualized, giving the story a sense of cohesion despite how unsettling it makes you feel. This is something that a lot of Horror media botches. When creating a setup meant to be the comfort hook that is established before the “scares” come in, most average horror movies and games will create a setting meant to be the “norm.” Once that norm is shattered, it feels like a jarring shift of perspective rather than one well thought out narrative. The tension that leads to a scare should be just as well executed as the scare itself. While Act 1 may not be scary in its own right, it establishes all of the more twisted characteristics of the girls that become more fleshed out and menacing in the games second half, and uses the players knowledge that this may have scary content to lure them into a state of feeling scared just in time for the game to break.

DDLC takes a holistic approach to Horror writing. Every piece of it exists to eventually make you uneasy, whether you know it or not, and that is the hallmark of a good story. If the game was actually just cutesy in its first half, with no hints at all to the darker nature of what is to come, then it would be a bad game and a bad story. Sure there would be shock value if all of a sudden Sayori just hung herself, but I personally would just feel lied to instead of scared. The clever subversion of not only horror tropes but also anime and visual novel tropes is what creates such a solid foundation for unease. You hate seeing horrible things happen to characters you care about, and at certain points in Act 2 when certain characters show signs that they too are aware of how horrible their world has become, it hits home way more than a videogame about hitting on women should. Shock value has become synonymous with Horror recently, leading to more and more cases of just throwing scares in as opposed to working them into a story. While series known for producing shock value and jump scares are immensely prominent in pop-culture, they hardly ever prove memorable in comparison to stories that lend themselves to creating feelings of terror and discomfort. Even in DDLC itself, the most memorable parts of the game are moments where the game is doing something small, something only I notice, something that makes me question why I have subjected myself to such a game. I engaged with DDLC, I gave it my attention and it rewarded my with a good story and pure terror, and this is the way any good piece of horror media should be.

I have thought about this game every day in the month after I played it, and have recommended it to literally everyone I know who would play it. It is rare for something I watch/play to scare me in such a poignant way. This game takes about 4 hours to beat, but I have spent 10 hours playing it through multiple times, and easily spent another 20 hours watching others playing it, talking about it with friends, and diving into every secret hidden within it. I believe that horror has the capacity to be more engrossing than a lot of people would assume. While being scared out of your mind may not be fun in the moment, looking back and questioning how and why something you played gave you that feeling is compelling and leaves you looking for the next piece of media that will affect you. This game absorbed me into its world and part of me still feels like I am there, at the literature club, waiting for the next well-placed yet terrifying revelation. 

Top Albums of 2017

In the midst of all the madness that was 2017, I found time to listen to 66 new albums. Whether that was healthy for me or a rational decision is anyone’s guess, but as always I want to share my opinions on my favorite music from this year. My tastes are all over (because I think everything is a banger) so bare with me.

20. Goths by The Mountain Goats (Indie Rock) 

 16 albums into their robust discography, The Mountain Goats wanted to try something new for their latest project: crafting a rock album without guitars. Though this might seem an innocuous decision, it leads to the album having a serene quality that sets the stage for John Darnielle’s immaculate songwriting. Not enough can be said about the lyrical content of this album. The writing alone is interesting enough to be read for entertainment purposes, but when surrounded by the music it becomes something spectacular. The album frames narratives of being an outcast and the monotony of living in small towns against the tune of smooth keyboard progressions and heavy basslines, with occasional embellishments like woodwinds chiming in to add some flavor. Each song plays out like its own fully fleshed out story told from the perspective of a character we learn about over the course of 3-5 minutes. In a word, it is the prettiest rock album I listened to all year, able to take the expectations of Indie Rock and flip the script, giving you a more intimate and thought provoking experience than you might expect.

19. The Iceberg by Oddisee (Hip-Hop) 

Rappers have had to evolve and change faster and faster in the past decade or so. With the genre becoming a worldwide phenomenon so suddenly, adaptation became the name of the game. So when groups like the Hellfire Club and Mello Music Group’s label arrived on the scene refusing to conform to modern popular rap standards, it came as a welcome surprise. Emerging from this scene, with production rooted in live instrumentation and soulful lyrics, Oddisee’s 2017 album struck a profound chord with me. The album explores broad topics such as isolation for POC in suburbs, gender disparities in the workplace, people growing into racism as opposed to out of it, and the importance of finding happiness in your art, all through the lens of an artist who just wants to make a difference. As the basslines bump and each song holds its own funky groove, Oddisee comes off as a selfless rapper who genuinely enjoys the opportunity he has been given through music. Which isn’t to say it came easy, though he certainly makes it seem effortless. His flow can fly by at supersonic speed with perfect clarity to break down into triplets whenever he sees fit, showing an adaption to a modern style without having to drop that which makes him unique as a rapper. He lays his life and concerns out before his listeners in such a candid and genuine way that even when he raps about loving a girl who could be cheating on him it feels we are just getting a window into how he perceives the world. Unlike a lot of artists’ work, this album doesn’t feel like a performance, but rather the unfiltered thought process of one of the rap game’s finest.

18. I Am A Man by Ron Miles (Contemporary Jazz) 

Writing about Jazz is a daunting task for me. Trying to identify things I like often leads me into the wall of “this revolves around a musical concept I don’t fully understand.” After which I fear my review will just get worse. However, you don’t have to be able to dissect something in order to know that you like it, and this album is a gorgeous compilation of what makes Jazz such an undying musical form. Named after a piece of literature written by an African-American during the Civil War era, this album feels like a declaration of character. Character in that each piece of of the quintet feels like it’s trying to accomplish its own goal. During the extensive solos you hear bandmates playing with ideas and twisting melodies all while the soloist continues to stand at the forefront at the song. It can often times feel chaotic, like each musician is tuning into and making music for a different album, but that is where Miles’ arrangements shine the most. The music is meant to layer and stack upon itself so that you can have moments of complex harmonies while one member of the band is playing a dissonant riff over the top. What should be in the background is changing to the foreground constantly and vice versa. The album is able to create beautiful and aggressive music while also making the listeners ears put in a significant amount of work, which to me is always when Jazz is at its most exciting and fresh.

17. Melodrama by Lorde (Pop)

 I remember getting into an argument with someone in 2013 after Pure Heroine came out because they claimed it was just another generic Pop album. In my fury, being the be-all-end-all guru of musical value that I am, I tried to convince them that the album felt much more a critique of pop music and that was what made it amazing. Luckily, four years and a new album later, Lorde delivers on what I can only call “Post-Pop,” because everything about the album plays to the strengths of Pop music without succumbing to the mindlessness the genre is saturated with. Everything about Lorde’s music throws a curveball at pop tropes: There are catchy melodies, but they often belie sadness or some kind of commentary; there is instrumentation that is downright grimy; and even Lorde’s voice is something I wouldn’t call amazing in comparison to her contemporaries. When all these elements come together, you get one of the strongest explorations of Pop of the year. The album opens with Lorde singing about having to try and enjoy a night out despite how she actually feels about certain people in her social group. The project as a whole never lets you forgot that Lorde holds a great deal of disdain for how we glorify and abuse wealth while also engaging in that same careless opulence. Of every album on this list, this feels the most modern in its depiction of how we deal with unappealing aspects of ourselves and society. That is to say, we ignore them. In response to heartbreak, drunken flings, self-doubt and emotional abuse, the most common response among my generation is just to push the pain down and ignore it. So hidden beneath the bouncing synths and vocal harmonies lies a reflection of just being lost and trying to find yourself in any distraction that presents itself to you.

16. Drunk, by Thundercat - (Jazz Fusion/R&B)

 Trying to explain Thundercat’s music is the equivalent of trying to speak backward, but in the simplest terms possible, Thundercat is a geek who loves cats. Everything else about him, his world-class Bass chops, his falsetto reminiscent of Maurice White of Earth Wind and Fire, and his short and often dense musical arrangements, plays second fiddle to his quiet geeky nature. For his third album, Thundercat created a collection of songs that sound like the ravings of a musical madman stuck in his house due to extreme introversion. Soul, Funk and Jazz collide to create the foundation of this wacky album. It opens with the narrative of a man hungover, trying to piece together the mess of what happened the night before, while still sticking to his daily routine. This narrative comes to reflect the album as a whole, as Thundercat’s music is always trying to stretch in a different direction while still keeping to some sort of focal point. Ideas disappear as soon as they appear and it gives the illusion that the album is always transforming. To complement this, Thundercat’s singing is as as gorgeous as ever, adding a light layer over the top of heavy arrangements and serving to ground the music as it changes. One moment basslicks are literally flying at you from every direction and the next you have a smooth 80’s throwback ballad that makes you want to sway back and forth on an empty floor. The lack of cohesion from song to song eventually becomes the cohesion of the album, at the center of it one of the best bass players in modern music who never takes himself seriously. The music is intoxicating and the 50 minute length can pass by in an instant, leaving you to immediately start over and indulge in the crazy world of Thundercat from the very top.

15. Big Fish Theory, by Vince Staples (Hip-Hop)

 Simply put, Vince Staples is one of the best rappers currently putting out music right now. His work paints dystopian pictures of a childhood growing up in poverty, and even as he becomes more recognized as a rapper, he never forgets his roots. On his sophomore project, he takes his production down a path laden with dirty electronic beats that take inspiration directly from the European House scene. This feels like stepping into a club and being held there through 40 minutes of bangers ripe with cutting lyrics and thoughtful asides. I am usually not one to mention features on albums unless they are exceptional or super relevant to the overall quality, but Kilo Kish’s presence on this album is vital. To complement Vince’s often monotone voice, she is often featured as a sort of narrative guide to whatever is happening in that moment, reminding me of the narrator from Midnight Marauders. As the rapper becomes a bigger and bigger star (i.e fish) he explores as the space around him starts to become more and more constricted. At times the album becomes more abstracted, revealing Vince’s thoughts as a person as opposed to a rapper, even diving into how he relates to one of his idols, Amy Winehouse, in an interlude. Even during what may be the height of his career, the Long Beach native cannot shake his wicked introspection and old habits.

14. MASSEDUCTION, by St.Vincent (Glam Rock/Pop)

 I will be the first to admit that I underestimated how much I would enjoy St.Vincent’s music. I had listened to an album or two a few years ago but was in a place where they just didn’t hit me. That, and most people I know who really enjoy her music have tastes that differ vastly from my own. So in my stupidity I assumed she wasn’t for me. With the release of her latest album this year, I listened to it front to back twice in a row and was floored. The music is liberating, often combining fast paced or atypical drum machine patterns with synths that create the structure for her impeccable vocals and songwriting. Listening to her music, it becomes clear that St.Vincent is as big a fan of making music as her fans are of listening to it, unafraid to drastically toy with tempos and warp her songs until they each feel like a complete project in and of themselves. In a way the more upbeat songs feel like conscious party anthems; they make you move and think at the same time, relishing in the layered riffs and melodies that even carry over multiple songs. Verses and choruses can feel like two opposite sides of a whole that lead to amazing transitions like “Los Ageless,” which has my favorite hook of the year, yet feels like an isolated thought that interrupts the rest of the song. On the slower songs, the wildness of the album disappears and you get these stripped down intimate conversations with St.Vincent along with solemn chord progressions. These never feel like detours from the main idea however; they are just as important and showcase her diverse musical craftsmanship.

13. Harmony of Difference, by Kamasi Wahsington (Contemporary Jazz) 

 Following up The Epic, Kamasi Washington’s 2015 three-hour album debut, seems like an almost impossible task. For many other musicians, that album would be the culmination of their life's work. So instead of trying to re-capture lightning in a bottle, Kamasi crafts a new musical project around a novel idea: make the entire project one song. While legends like Davis and Coltrane have created albums with extremely long songs that cover a multitude ideas in them, the songs are clearly distinct. On this album, each song is intentionally a fragment the final track, “Truth,” a structure that allows the listener to become familiar with the story of the album before diving into its climax. Bits and pieces are broken off and expanded in ways that feel new but become recontextualized once the last song ends. Being as attuned to the spiritual as he is, you get the idea that for Kamasi, concepts like desire and perspective all tie back into truth, which is what he is always striving for in his music. The album comes full circle in a way most albums don’t, asking questions it later answers, leaving the listener with a sense of wholeness. This could very well be a road map of the journey Kamasi himself took to find his own truth, and in sharing his process and laying bare the skeleton of the entire album, maybe he can help you find some answers as well.

12. Apricot Princess, by Rex Orange County (Rock/Pop) 

 I first heard Rex in his features on Tyler the Creator’s album from this year, and found his voice mesmerizing. Upon listening to his solo work I found he reminded me of a mix of Amy Winehouse and Brian Wilson at his finest. Drawing as much from modern Rap trends as he does classic Rock ballads, his style is a fusion of his own diverse tastes. His ability to write as candidly as he does allows him to weave together lyrics while making it seem as natural as speaking. Backed by instrumentation that includes some of the smoothest keyboard work you will hear all year to shredding guitars, Rex makes sure to use the the full range of his own personal taste to create the musical palate of the album. The album touches on themes of lost love and loneliness, with Rex himself being prone to feelings of isolation and nihilism. He often brings up his own sense of mortality and fear of death, seeming to fear dying while still feeling emotionally unfulfilled. He comes across as a reserved soul on some tracks before aggressively belting out hooks like “don’t tell me you’re sorry, you’re just sorry for yourself,” on others, letting his thoughts ring out uncensored. The album becomes an escape from socializing and a letter to his own problems with love and compatibility. Each song feels like him working through his relationship with some person or concept, talking to himself lyrics and melodies.

11. Lalia’s Wisdom, by Rapsody (Hip-Hop) 

 This album is based on life lessons that the North Carolina native rapper learned from her grandmother growing up. These lessons cover everything from how to treat your partner with respect to taking pride in your blackness. On this album, full of Neo-Soul inspired beats, Rapsody asserts her dominance and promises to always be her best self. Her fixation is not on material goods but rather on sharing the knowledge she has learned from those close to her growing up. Of course, none of this would be worth much if she couldn’t cut it much as an MC, and thankfully she can spit with the best of em. On each song she delivers dense bars that not only blow most of her contemporaries out of the water, but does so without having to appeal to the mainstream masses. Rapsody comes off as a battle rapper, where the art of crafting clever lyrical content around interesting narratives is the only way to rap. The stellar features on this project (Kendrick, Moonchild, Anderson .Paak,) serve to adapt their sounds and skills to Rapsodys smartly woven musical tapestry, so each time we hear a voice that isn’t hers, the transition is smooth and they never feel jarring. Taking much more from Outkast (which she references many times on the album) than any modern trends in Hip-Hop, Rapsody’s music feels diverse and unafraid to be funky one moment and soulfully smooth the next, all with her lyrics serving as a tether for her life stories. This is a powerful piece of work from a rapper who has staked her claim and earned her place among raps elite.

10. FKJ, by French Kiwi Juice (Chillwave/House) 

Earlier in the fall, a friend showed me an amazing video of FKJ and another musician, Masego, improvising a song called “Tadow” in Red Bull’s music studios. Over the course of the eight minute video, KJ picks up a bass,guitar, saxophone and keyboard, laying down different melodic loops seamlessly. I was so impressed with that performance that I listened to his album later that weekend. What it contained was some of the smoothest music I have heard all year, each song a study of a simple idea or melody that expands and contracts over its runtime before going on to the next idea. When you realize all of the production was done by one person, and yet still there is room for vocalists to come in and add character to the moving tracks, it becomes all the more impressive. It is soulful music that has been constructed in a digital workshop, resulting in a crispness that sounds almost too clean, until you think about how much refinement and revision must have gone through to get it to where it is. This album is the fully-formed vision of one artist, yet it still feels humble and eager to grow. FKJ’s personal vocals act more like his instruments, part of the loops that create the chill world that guest vocalists inhabit. It takes the female vocal trope that EDM music thrives on and filters it through music that is sound enough to function on its own. This is the kind of album that you just put on and close your eyes, letting the music paint the pictures for you.

9. After Laughter, by Paramore (Synth-Pop/Rock) 

From this point one the albums in the list will have had a significant personal lasting impact on me as opposed to me just being very fond of their musical contents. So don’t be fooled by this album only being number nine on the list, this is by far the 2017 album I listened to the most. While I was walking, working, playing games, etc. It is full of catchy Pop earworms and fun synth-driven bangers that I find myself humming at least once a week. It is also one of the saddest things I have listened to all year. With Paramore being known for Pop-Punk, and lead singer Hayley Williams known for her biting lyricism and exceptional voice, this album at first seems like a complete change in direction. However, depression and loneliness don’t always take the form of a black cloud looming over someone's head, and among these colorful and bright tracks lies Hayley confronting her own inability to be happy. She sings of the pain of having uplifting people in her life whom she can’t connect with due to her own personal issues. One would assume that pop stars always choose music that reflects their lyrical mood (Drake croons over sober beats when sad, Carly Rae Jepsen sings excitedly over happy Pop instrumentals, etc.) but Paramore has chosen to to make an album that reflects the kind of headspace they want to live in. So when Hayley talks about wanting to be left alone so she can quietly suffer, you get the sense that isn’t how she wants to spend the rest of her life. It can be extremely hard to motivate yourself to strive for happiness if you don’t really believe in it, but by making a beautiful and sonically positive album as Paramore has done, you slowly lay the foundation for your own emotional healing.

8. Fin, by Syd (R&B/Hip-Hop) 

 I have already talked at length about this album this year so it shouldn’t be a surprise that it ended up on this list. The Internet is currently one of my favorite bands, so when its members started releasing solo work I was excited to see what each one offered in a more intimate context. The strongest of these projects so far is Syd’s debut album, which has allowed her to flex the production, lyrical, and singing chops she has been developing for years. Rather than trying to create an entirely new sound, she slides into the seat of a modern R&B diva. Taking notes from the confidence of Aaliyah and the nonchalant attitude of Jhene Aiko, Syd is able to write like she has been at the top of the charts forever. Featuring songs revolving around her past mistakes and embracing said mistakes, encouraging self-love, and putting on for squad that has helped her get to where she is, the album reveals so many subtle details about Syd’s life and personality. While still keeping her signature quiet vocal style, she slays each track with a moxie and swagger that has been kept dormant until now. This project was conceived as a demo to showcase her songwriting talent, and instead cemented her as one of the best acts in R&B today.

7. Process, by Sampha (Alt R&B/ Electro-Soul) 

 Sampha always sounds like he is in pain when he is singing. While this could be interpreted as a lack of technique, I see it as the artist’s devotion to laying himself bare in every song he makes. Known formally for his stellar features and bedroom musician aesthetic, Sampha’s debut album is nothing less than poetry. His approach to songwriting is to write complex and often visually rich narratives to convey his feelings of loss. Everything he does, from his minimalist production to the somber piano that features in the slower songs, carries a tremendous sense of weight and can leave the listener feeling like they are experiencing something surreal. Each sound feels like an extension of the artist’s own turmoil. Sampha is able to perfectly capture his emotion in a musical context, so when he hurts, you can’t help but feel uncomfortable. Yet the whole time, you have to admire the drive and ambition of a man who has lost both of his parents to cancer and has been able to create a lush and heartbreaking album to cope with his own pain. Emotionally, it still seems like Sampha is in a bad place, even flirting with dreams of dying on some of the tracks. But counteracting this pain is the outlet he has found in his musical career. The process of recovering after losing someone close to you is never easy and it never ends. but hopefully the thought of strangers feeling connected to him via his music is enough to put Sampha’s mind at ease, if only for a moment.

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6. 4:44, by Jay-Z (Hip-Hop) 

While Jay-Z maybe be one of the most important figures in Hip-Hop’s history, his recent releases have been lacking most of the punchy substance that made his earlier work great. So when rumors started spreading that a Jay-Z and Beyonce project was in the works after the release of last year’s Lemonade, I was hype to see what that could entail. That rumored project may well have turned out to be 4:44, and luckily for us it is the best album that Jay-Z has put out in more than a decade. With a history of albums that revolve around a smooth talking and aggressive drug dealer turned millionaire, one would expect more of the same from the almost 50-year-old rapper. What we got, however, was a father and husband reflecting on the poor decisions he has made in regard to his family while trying to encourage his people to invest into their own culture. The album opens with him dismantling the persona that is Jay-Z, admitting some of his biggest fears over the years as they relate to love and happiness. He even addresses his feud with protege Kanye West, feeling more disappointed in their rough patch than angry at Kanye for potentially dissing him. As the album goes on we learn more about Jay-Z’s early life and insecurities than ever before, from his mother having to hide her own sexuality to his own inability to form long lasting loving connections without ruining them. In the titular track he formally apologizes to his wife and child for his past mistakes, wholeheartedly admitting to being a mess rather than making excuses. It is a shocking yet moving side of a rapper who has cut his teeth on a sort of ruthless swagger. All of this is of course enhanced by No I.D’s bombastic soul sampling production, making the album feel as grounded in the roots of black culture as you can get. This of course makes sense, because anytime Jay-Z isn’t reflecting on his past he is thinking about the financial and spiritual future of African-Americans, encouraging us to own business and pave our own way. While not the most sound financial advice, it showcases Jay-Z’s current lease on life, a man who wants nothing more than to do what he can to secure the future happiness of his family and people. 4:44 is a testament to the idea that even the most hardened and stubborn man can change his ways for the better.

5. DAMN, by Kendrick Lamar (Hip-Hop) 

Coming into 2017 I didn’t expect another Kendrick album to drop anytime soon. To be honest, if he never made another album he would still have one of the strongest discographies in rap music, with his work improving by leaps and bounds over time. So when news of DAMN first came to light I was skeptical at best. After all, with two Kendrick posters and my only tattoo revolving around one of his songs, you could say that I have a bit of a fixation on the Compton rapper. Thankfully, this album takes a much darker turn than I would expect from this point in his career. Rather than revel in his indisputable talent and influence, he turns the focus inward and uses his fame to re-examine his personal life. If To Pimp a Butterfly was a call to arms for black culture, then DAMN is Kendrick looking in the mirror and trying to slap some sense into himself. The songs are all one word titles in all caps to emphasize the importance of their concepts to Kendrick. He tackles the hypocrisy within himself, preaching to love thy neighbor in one song while knowing that he could very well have glorified violence in another. Still untouchable as ever in terms of flow and lyrics, DAMN poses the question of whether or not Kendrick will ever find solace in himself as an artist, with some of the most dense writing found in any album this year. In Kendrick, and in all African-Americans he posits, lies a curse of duality that pulls his people in two directions at once with extreme force. So while Kendrick understands that gang violence isn’t an okay thing, it is also a part of who he is and the people who raised him. With more lavishly textured production than anything found on a Kendrick album thus far, he dives into this same duality as it applies to love, power and humility. It never seems like he wants to be put on a pedestal, but his desire to be great is still ever-present in every song he makes.

4. 4eva Is a Mighty Long Time, by Big K.R.I.T (Hip-hop) 

 Ever since my experience with the 2014 album Cadillactica, I have been captivated by this Southern rapper’s complete dominance over his craft and ability to add a daunting layer of consciousness to his trap-influenced bangers. In fact his work is almost always split down the middle, with half of it being more akin to club music and the other half an appeal to Conscious Rap set over soulful instrumentals. Krit has seemingly never been able to find a proper balance on a singular project, his answer to that apparently being putting out a double album that encompasses both the eccentric grill-clad rap persona of Big K.R.I.T and the more reserved and spiritual Justin Scott. The first CD is an unabashedly arrogant collection of heavy hitting songs that allow Krit to showcase his mastery of the Southern trap aesthetic. Proclaiming that bias against Southern rappers has kept him in a box, he tirelessly asserts himself as a GOAT contender. In all of this though he evokes a sense of sadness. Here you have this tyrant of a force in rap who only wants to be recognized for the talent he has. In a lot of ways, the rap persona he puts forth has always been a shield for his insecurities, a way to cover his fear of being inadequate despite having an extremely strong discography. So by splitting the album into two separate projects, he allows that shield to live in isolation as a its own phenomenon, which is still better than what most artists making similar music put out. On the latter CD, Justin Scott shows off more of his lavish production chops, drawing from old soul and blues songs, with fresh live instruments added to the sample to make each song come to life. Hear he confronts his more grounded fears, his alcoholism, and his mortality. He exposes himself for a longer period of time than he has on any other record and you get this amazingly vivid picture of the man behind the music. By putting in an insane amount of work and releasing a double LP, he has finally given us the most tried and true representation of the artist that is Big K.R.I.T.

3. Ash, by Ibeyi (Experiential Neo-Soul, Art Pop) 

 The French-Cuban duo Ibeyi are in a lane all their own. Being multilingual singer-songwriters, they thrive off their inability to limit themselves. Drawing inspiration from anywhere and everything, their sophomore release is a fusion of countless different worlds. Mixing Afrobeat Hip-Hop and Neo-Soul with experimental sampling, and having a through line of the pair’s amazing vocals, this album is a sonic treat. In the torrent of music lies an underlying theme of women’s empowerment. Ibeyi combats the idea that a woman’s role should be one of complacency, and take out their frustration by drawing on the strength of the powerful women who have passed in their own lives. This isn’t to say that the sisters are immune to pain, far from it. Songs like “I wanna be like you,” represent the sisters admitting they have a long road to go in their own lives before they can be the powerhouses of change they want to be. According to Michelle Obama, “The measure of any society is how it treats its women and girls,” an idea that Ibeyi not only believes wholeheartedly, but sample directly for one of the most powerful songs on the album. In the latter half of the album the duo’s lyrical prowess really shines as they depict more and more visceral pictures of their own pain. It is slow burn, but poinent enough for the listeners to pay attention as it keeps them tense the whole way through. This album feels like the quiet spark of a revolution, like the feeling of discomfort that first moves one to march in the streets. Ash is a meticulously arranged album where even silence is used as an instrument on the slower songs, where lyrics fly by in multiple languages to show the sisters’ connection to their roots, and listeners are never allowed to forgot the message behind the music.

2. Flower Boy, by Tyler the Creator (Hip-Hop) 

This is the album that I have always wanted from Tyler, a project where he puts his production and musicianship before everything else and gets the sound he wants before writing any lyrics. This isn’t to say that I don’t think Tyler can carry himself as a rapper, but rather that his style and flow work best when his production carries most of the weight of each song. As an artist it feels like Tyler has always had a bit of an issue conveying all of his thoughts through music. He is known for his lyrical intensity and the colorful characters he creates in his songs, but his albums have never felt like a 1:1 representation of his feelings. Whereas on this project we get a near perfect blend of Tyler’s lyrical themes meshing with the musical garden he has created. Opening as a narrative sequel to a lot of the themes touched on in 2015’s Cherry Bomb, Tyler talks about the feeling of using material goods to cover up loneliness. While he would have you believe that he has left his more sad past behind him, Flower Boy is a return to form for the introspection that the wacky rapper has a knack for. As songs pass by, a bigger picture of Tyler’s life and feelings unfold, revealing everything from potentially repressed sexuality to a feeling of isolation from his friends that never goes away. Musically, the signature wonky synths and 808’s that have followed Tyler through his career make a triumphant return, paired with beautifully orchestrated horns and woodwinds, to make this the most confident of his albums to date. A bunch of the buzz from this album came from Tyler’s sudden admittance that he may be sexually attracted to men, but stopping there completely misses the point. The whole project is a confession, a musical form of Tyler coming to terms with a lot of his demons. He even postulates on a future in which he is no longer able to make a living off of his art and how devastating that would be. He is an artist that has always wanted to be heard and for his voice to be unique, and on this latest LP he gives us that and more in the most eloquent manner he could manage.

1. CTRL, by SZA- (R&B/Neo-Soul) 

Another album I talked about earlier in the year, CTRL is the best example I can think of where a debut lives up to all of its hype and potential. In a genre filled with sexy people talking about sexy things, SZA approaches her album from the perspective of the side chick. Her songs cover such a wide variety of specific situations and feelings that you have to imagine them as being drawn from her own personal experiences. One moment she is poking fun at the excitement around having an affair, while in the next we hear a soul crushing musical testament to her self-doubt. Love can easily be a messy thing to write about, but the kind of strength required to open up about being in unhealthy and fleeting relationships is immense. Feeling enamored with the idea of someone with no way of knowing how long your fling will last or what you really mean to the other person is terrifying. Of course, all of this would be tainted if the production and vocal performances were anything other than exceptional, and luckily for us that isn’t the case. Silky and loose is how I would describe the musical flavor of the album, with melodies sliding in and out of focus as SZA’s vocals sound better than ever. In comparison to the more vibe-heavy singers in today's R&B scene, SZA belts, sustains, and embodies different emotions with different vocal inflections. You can tell that a lot of the stories behind this album came from real life interactions, but it is also clear that the artist has made peace with a multitude of her mistakes. There are short interludes where the women she presumably looks up to give advice on maintaining your sanity. By the album’s end you get the sense that SZA is determined to not only to combat feelings of loneliness, but to love herself more, because she finally sees herself as worth it. This doesn’t mean that she will be magically okay forever, but knowing that you are still on your journey often comes with a peace of mind that SZA has more than earned.