Reflection For a Dance Class

So I did an Exercise where I just started writing, I tried not the think and just released how I felt into words. Hope it works.

     As we push along in the semester I find myself wondering am I actually improving in my dance ability and I question my own growth as a dancer. The class is wonderful but I have a tendency to interrogate all of my actions to the point where there are times that I completely ignore any talent that I might have acquired in a certain field. With Dance however it is different. With you are playing music and you miss a note, you know exactly what you did wrong and can correct the source of your error before you play again. With dance you can listen to a song for 3 hours straight trying to make a routine and nothing will click. This has always been my challenge. I am a very confident freestyle dancer but my skills do not hold when I am told to make a piece that requires structure. So throughout these two months I have imeresed myself in trying to make choreography without simply making stuff up. At first it was terrible, I could not adjust to the idea of structure and I hated myself for not being good enough. However after reading Art and Fear and starting Wild Minds I realized that I have been fighting someone else’s battles. In the words of the author of Wild Mind, “Some people are stalkers and some people are dreamers.” I have discovered finally that I am a dreamer.

            Structure is nice and what have you but when it comes to my mind I think in color. There is never a straight path in my life because there are so many things I want to do, and this is reflected in my dance. So I tried this. In class I did not think about trying to contain myself, instead I let myself go and do what I do best, but I simply did bigger moves at certain parts and smaller moves at other parts. To my surprise I could remember a dance better when I do not try and plot out everymove, for that is not how I learn in general. I have to shotgun information and stimuli and then choose whatever works best for me. This seems like common sense but nowadays our generation is not given enough room to creatively breath, we are told that the world is order and structure so we are taught in that fashion. Being a dancer who loves freedom but thinks in a foreign concept is extremely frustrating to say the least. Now for the first time I feel like I have a chance to make or make something beautiful, something worthwhile that tells people who I am and how far I have come as a dancer and a person. This is the reason I chose to study dance in college, this very class, so that I could be surrounded by people who have found their way, and also others who were still lost like me. It makes all the difference to not just be in a class where a professor lectures and occasionally makes jokes to keep the class awake. Hands on experience and the opportunity to be able to make a mistake without it affecting my final grade is just…unreal.

            We spend so much of our day just thinking. Thinking about work we have to do or the jobs we have to perform, and it seems we never take the time to just live. Not like partying your heart out and screaming YOLO at the top of your lungs, but just dancing or singing for the heck of it. The most creative things happen we do not want them too, because the world rewards those we take their time and do not try and force a masterpiece out of themselves for no reason. I am starting to see just how capable I am, not just as a dancer but as a human being. So I will continue to dance, and make pieces, and write, and enjoy myself, because that’s how my creative mind functions. Through my readings and the experience I have had in Dan 278 i have taken time to appreciate the little details that dancers cannot be taught. The feel of a certain move, the joy of making something unique, and the pain of a dance not being the way you wanted it fueling you to do better next time.

            I had no idea how this paper would turn out, I just started writing and let my expeience lead me, which is one of the greatest lessons anyone can learn. Let your experiences lead you, because they account for a lot more than you would think. All of your anger and disappointment at yourself as well as your joy and achievement’s are all wrapped up in your experience, so letting them guide you is a skill that is irreplaceable. I dance not to impress, but to express and give back to the world that has allowed me to grow into who I am. So as we push along in this semester and I question my abilities as a dancer I will allow myself to indulge in my past experiences and learn from them, so I can become the dancer and person I want to be.