A Grandmas love and Car crashes

     So on Sunday my mother and I took a trip out to see my grandma to help her set up her new phone, unbeknownst to me this short trip would be one of the most significant things to happen to me all summer.

      When we got to my grandma's my mom stepped outside to handle the phone business leaving me and my grandma to talk. I will always find it funny how even the most hardcore people will become straight children in front of their grandparents.  Sure we can yell at or ignore our parents but when grandma is around everyone’s an angel. Now over the last few years I have talked to my grandma less and less in order to preserve some stupid principle of "independence", but that day I just lent myself talk. I told my grandma of my unorthodox dreams: how I want to be a dance therapist, how I want to create something, etc. To be honest I have no idea why I came clean, but I figure it was time for me to embrace my crazy dreams aloud as opposed to building them up in my mind. I waiting and watched her face as a I spoke and when I was done...I had no idea what to expect. Now to clarify, I get my lack of verbal filter from my grandma, so if she thought that what I was doing was stupid or not worth the time she would tell me. The reaction the followed however was extremely positive.  It is also worthwhile to mention that my grandma is also a huge nerd like me. She likes anime, comics, firefly, and buffy, so I guess her joy in my life choice was not that surprising. Kids and their grandparents often times share the same notions of wonder and fantasy, because in the beginning of your life it is all you know, and in the later part of your life it is all you have left. So she told me “I’m glad you decided to walk this path, if anyone can do this it is you.” Now I get that she is family and supposed to be encouraging, but hearing it aloud makes all the difference. I have no desire to work a desk job for the rest of my life, I am far too reckless and believe me you do not want me behind a desk with any sort of power. So I am going to pursue something crazy, because if you are good enough at something, then somehow and some way you can make a living off it…hopefully.

            After getting pumped up about my loving grandma approving of my aspirations I preceded to read comics while my mom drove home (I drove up, so my mom drives back, fairness and all that jazz). Out of nowhere a car spins out on the freeway and collides hard with the car diresctly in front of us. I looked up in time just to see the car spin out and time actually seemed to slow down. It was my first time being so close to a crash that could have easily been a lot worse. The car that spun out was hit on the driver’s side, so it is safe to assume that they were hurt a little. I have not been that scared in a long time; usually nothing gets to me but after that when we got home I was still shaking. I drove right after that to see someone and help myself feel better but it was just crazy. One wrong move and we are all goners, that’s what I gathered from this encounter, so I cannot waste time being passive or scared. I do not want to die before I do something cool and if that sounds morbid or odd that’s because it is. I would not call this a near-death experience, but I was close enough to see what could have been…and I did not like it.

            Moral of the story: There is none, I was scared by a car crash and now I am more determined to do everything that I have been trying to do. From darkness comes motivation.

A Man’s Worth

I am a child at heart. I love cartoons, comics, and video games. All these seemingly childish mediums came together to form a big chunk of my personality. This has become a tad bit of a problem from me as I have grown older because popular to contrary relief, childish things taught me valuable life lessons. Being in college I expected to be surrounded by people who were all smarter than I was; people whose paths in life were set in stone whilst mine was shaky and dream-fueled. Luckily for me that was almost never true. I was surrounded by good people who just were looking to find what makes them tick, just like I was.Seeing fellow students who could not fend for themselves was as huge eye-opener though. I have always been told how spoiled I am by my parents and to an extent that is true, but my childish morals of right and wrong evolved and helped me figure out a few things.

First of all I believe that a man’s worth is not determined solely by one thing. I heard things like “it is determined by the company he keeps…his actions…his car” or whatever, but the most important thing about “being a man” I have found is just be true to your word. By your word I do not just mean what you say, I mean what your beliefs are. Yes things happen and in the heat of the moment emotions can affect us all, but it does not make much sense to say that you hate people who hit women and then go around playing whack-a-mole with female’s faces does it? All the anime and cheesy cartoons have led me to this conclusion, the hero always does what he says he will don and never abandons his morals. True that does not translate well to the real world but it is a step toward not being a terrible person.

Second you should always try and be honest with those close to you. These are the people who support and have your back; therefore it is imperative that you treat like you love them, simple right? I have seen people abuse friendships and it makes me sick. I am an only child so I know what it is like to not have anyone right, so I have come to rely on my friends to the point where I consider them family. In the grand scheme of things none of our connections matter because we all die alone, but it’s these connections that allow us to bring happier memories to the grave. After all I would rather die young, fat, and happy than live long and die old, healthy, and lonely.

Finally I hate mooching off of people. I never take anything I cannot give or pay back just because it is so wrong to me. We should all have to work for our place in the world, so if you are just riding the coattails of others then what kind of person that make you? Yes sure life is unfair and some people have to work harder than others but that should be motivation to triumph. I know that if I put enough hours in I can be a better dancer than people who were born with “natural talent”, I know that if I grind enough I can make more money than people who were born into wealth. It is all about finding out how much you want out of the world, because that’s how much work you have to put it.

I am so bloody childish. I actually think that by staying true to your morals and working hard you can be whatever you want to be, but hell it has gotten me into the college of my dreams and the life of my choosing so why not just stay a man-child a little bit longer?