So on
Sunday my mother and I took a trip out to see my grandma to help her set
up her new phone, unbeknownst to me this short trip would be one of the most
significant things to happen to me all summer.
When we got to my grandma's my mom stepped outside
to handle the phone business leaving me and my grandma to talk. I will always
find it funny how even the most hardcore people will become straight children
in front of their grandparents. Sure we can yell at or ignore our parents
but when grandma is around everyone’s an angel. Now over the last few years I
have talked to my grandma less and less in order to preserve some stupid
principle of "independence", but that day I just lent myself talk. I
told my grandma of my unorthodox dreams: how I want to be a dance therapist,
how I want to create something, etc. To be honest I have no idea why I came
clean, but I figure it was time for me to embrace my crazy dreams aloud as
opposed to building them up in my mind. I waiting and watched her face as a I
spoke and when I was done...I had no idea what to expect. Now to clarify, I get
my lack of verbal filter from my grandma, so if she thought that what I was doing
was stupid or not worth the time she would tell me. The reaction the followed
however was extremely positive. It is
also worthwhile to mention that my grandma is also a huge nerd like me. She
likes anime, comics, firefly, and buffy, so I guess her joy in my life choice
was not that surprising. Kids and their grandparents often times share the same
notions of wonder and fantasy, because in the beginning of your life it is all
you know, and in the later part of your life it is all you have left. So she
told me “I’m glad you decided to walk this path, if anyone can do this it is
you.” Now I get that she is family and supposed to be encouraging, but hearing
it aloud makes all the difference. I have no desire to work a desk job for the
rest of my life, I am far too reckless and believe me you do not want me behind
a desk with any sort of power. So I am going to pursue something crazy, because
if you are good enough at something, then somehow and some way you can make a
living off it…hopefully.
After getting pumped up
about my loving grandma approving of my aspirations I preceded to read comics
while my mom drove home (I drove up, so my mom drives back, fairness and all
that jazz). Out of nowhere a car spins out on the freeway and collides hard with
the car diresctly in front of us. I looked up in time just to see the car spin
out and time actually seemed to slow down. It was my first time being so close
to a crash that could have easily been a lot worse. The car that spun out was
hit on the driver’s side, so it is safe to assume that they were hurt a little.
I have not been that scared in a long time; usually nothing gets to me but
after that when we got home I was still shaking. I drove right after that to
see someone and help myself feel better but it was just crazy. One wrong move
and we are all goners, that’s what I gathered from this encounter, so I cannot
waste time being passive or scared. I do not want to die before I do something
cool and if that sounds morbid or odd that’s because it is. I would not call
this a near-death experience, but I was close enough to see what could have
been…and I did not like it.
Moral of the story: There
is none, I was scared by a car crash and now I am more determined to do
everything that I have been trying to do. From darkness comes motivation.
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