I
have been on an upward slope for a little while now (emphasis on a little) and I
thought I would take this time to write something. For some reason or another I feel like
nowadays I am encountering love everywhere I go now, whether it be with people
around me getting in or breaking off relationships, or just the sad fact that
no young adult wants to end up alone. So full disclaimer everything I am about
to say is from what I have personally learned and is knowledge I try to apply
to relationships or whatnot. These things may not work for you, and that’s okay,
because the beauty of our lives is just that, they are our lives. Live, experience, and learn what works for you,
because that is what really matters at the end of the day.
Okay so first off I find the concept
of a “soul-mate” irritating. Not because I do not believe in true love/am too
cynical to accept such an absurd concept (although there may be some truth in
that), but because it is just so limiting. If I were to go by the logic that
there is ONE person out there for me then the chances of my finding that person
on a planet of 7 billion plus people are slim to none. Remember the soul-mate myths only states that there will be a “right” one for you, not that you will
ever find them. I mean sure you could maybe cut 7 billion in half if you are
only attracted to one sex, but that still leaves billions of people to go
through and not nearly enough time to go through it. So instead I offer you
this piece of advice: explore and take chances with people. Do not look for a
person to be your “one” or your “destiny”, simply look at them as the person
whom you won over or who won you ever. In most cases there is a reason you fell
for them so remember what that is and build off of it. Look for people you can
stand being around for long periods of time. Wait what that sounds just like
common sen- no listen, my generation especially is really bad at this concept. This
does not mean anyone you can get along with (because that number will always
outnumber the people you can actually function as a couple with), but rather
the people that you can be
with. Life is short and we will never get as much time as we want to do
everything our heart desires but you should have a good idea of what you like. A
good friend of mine said to look for “similar interests but different
personalities”, because dating someone just like you would eventually get
overwhelming or stale. So you may never find someone perfect for you (by the
definition of perfect), but you may find someone that you would not mind
spending a lot of your precious time with, and that seems like a fair trade off
to me.
Another thing is the concept of
trust and being open. With social media being present in the past decade or so I
think the idea of being open with people has changed a little. Being open
implies more posting unnecessary selfies on Facebook or updating your twitter
every 20 seconds with your daily schedule, but rather everything you do not put
on these sites. For example I think by now we all know of my little depressive
spells or what have you, in order for me to be with someone I need to be
willing to talk to/ with them about how I feel during my lowest points. Not just
because it is healthy for someone to talk about how the feel with a close
confidant, but because if you cannot do this then you lose credibility in a
partnership. Two people (or more I will not judge) need to be a team, and if
you hide personal information about yourself and a situation pops up where you
need to be trusted, then you may be screwed. Now in theory this is simple, of
course I can talk about my life with my lover that is easy, but life never
makes the road that clear. This also means that if you have been abused, or you
are prone to some sort of illness, or even if you just have a secret you
consider to be super embarrassing and personal, you need to come clean. Trust (if
used properly) can only breed more trust and once you and whoever can actually
trust each other a lot of things become easier. Granted no relationship is
going to be easy, but I think it is each persons duty to make things as simple
as possible for the other person. Again I can personally say that I am bad at
this. I am really dramatic and have a tendency to try and solve problems with
words and follow with actions (as opposed to action first). Also I have let
outside events influence my relationships several times and they fall apart,
but this is all part of the process. Eventually you get to develop a sense of
who you are and can put aside your issues to be present with another person, or
even better bring those issues to light with the person and they might just be
the guiding hand you did not know you needed.
I think that is all for now, I am
sure there will be more dumb poorly written material like this in the future
but for now I will leave you with this: life is short. It is a cliché we all
know but seldom put into practice, if you have a person you want then go for
it. When you both work toward a positive healthy relationship then more often
than not a healthy relationship will form. Even if it someone you never thought
you could fall for or some madness like that, don’t be afraid to take chances
and live. We are people, we function best when we are not alone, and that is
just pure truth.
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