Where I Stand

I want to make this clear, My Name is Ezekiel Starling and I am a black male. In my life time I have moved and lived up and down the West coast from California to Washington and back again. I was raised by a single mother who taught me to always fight for what I believe in, and that things may always be a tad bit harder for me because of the color of my skin. My father has never lived with us but he has played a big role in how I view conflict and protect myself. My best friends range from Caucasian to Iranian to Pakistani to Nicaraguan to Filipino to African to African-American. My passion is creating art and trying to find new ways to connect, help, and inspire my fellow men. I am trying to stay objective and learn as much from Ferguson as I can. I do not think Mike Brown deserved to be killed.

Let us begin.

I do not agree with the decision to not indict officer Darren Wilson but I can see why that conclusion was reached. Half of the country believes that Mike Brown is an innocent martyr, a young man who has done no wrong and was shot 6 times while his hands were raised in surrender. While the other half has looked more into the case and has seen that there is evidence that paints the opposite picture, that Mike Brown was lunging for Wilson and/or his gun when he was killed. As you can see we have a bit of a problem. If we go with exhibit A, then there is no excuse for not indicting Wilson, as he murdered an innocent man. Yet if we turn our attention to exhibit B (which is what I am assuming the grand jury did) then we see an officer reacting to a situation that he probably never encountered before, thus resulting in a dead body and a ton of controversy. The grand jury most likely just saw Wilson protecting himself, and left it at that. Now before you judge me understand that I NEVER condone murder in any circumstance. If a man broke into my house and I killed him, I would still gladly stand trial for my actions; that is the humane thing to do. Whether or not the officer was defending himself or not it does not excuse his use of excessive force and the fact that he gets off utterly free is a shame. This, however, only serves to reflect a system that we have known to be less than favorable since its creation.

The problem with this event is that it brings up an ugly controversy that completely re-routes the situation and pollutes what we should be getting out of this tragedy. Is this case about race? Would Brown be alive if he was white? Why should we care about this single incident when there is so much black on black crime in certain communities? Where is the justice? These are the kinds of questions and flame wars you will see popping up all over social media/news sites. With all this information it is just so hard to make sense of the situation. So instead of jumping on anyone's bandwagon I formed my opinion and came to my own conclusion. I want to share because I do not want this to happen again. What do I mean by that? I mean that this wall we have put between ourselves as a country needs to be torn down if we are to have any hope of not destroying each other. Brown's family called for peace and change in the wake of this tragedy and I think that is what we should ALL be focusing on. It is so easy to just get angry and rally for a week or two and then just go back to being complacent; we cannot afford to do that anymore. Ferguson NEEDS to be the last example of questionable racism and confusing politics in our modern age. We have come too far as a people to let something like this just be another point of no resolution that is forever forgotten. The whole country is watching to see what we can make of this so let us be intelligent and find some answers.

If you think race has nothing to do with this case then stop reading now because anything I say will be lost on you. Race is a HUGE portion of this because of the ambiguous role it plays in Brown's death. The common retort is that Black people only care about one of their own when a white man kills him, and that if Brown was a white the result would be the same. First off every black person is aware of black on black crime, and I will address its significance later. Secondly, in my mind I have run this question through my head so many times and I honestly I do not know if Brown still would have been killed if he was white, AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM. People who have never experienced racism only think of it as big dramatic showings of hatred and clear cut right and wrong happenings, but to my people (and this is anyone who has experienced it) racism is subtle. Racism is the white lady that clutched her purse tighter when I sat next to her on a train, or white dad who holds his kid tighter when the pass through an “urban neighborhood”. I could go on and on, but the basis here is that racism stems from fear. A fear so strong that it unconsciously has worked itself into the backbone of society whether they want to be or not. Most of my white friends were not taught how to interact with police officers by their parents, they do not have to worry how they reach for a glove box, and they most certainly do not have their worrying mother calling them after every Oscar Grant, Trayvon Martin, and Mike Brown just to see if they are still okay. This is where the concept of privilege comes in, the idea that we are not all on the same playing field, and some people have advantages even if they do not think they do. No intelligent or reasonable person likes this, it is unfair and not a good reflection of our strength as a people, but what can we do?

We can start by working with each other instead of against each other. All the riots and idiotic nonsense that has come from this decision is a bad mark on the human race. Not on black people, not on white people, but ALL of us. These people do not deserve to be taken into the equation and I say we let the cops handle them. What we need to focus on is opening the door for discussion and action. I know so many non-black people whose eyes were opened by this case, people who may or may not have grown up oblivious to what happens who want to contribute. And we need to let them. This is not about just black people anymore. If we are going to save black lives we need to quell the fear that leads to so many black deaths, which involves getting everyone involved. The media portayal of black people is no longer relevant; it is our time to SHOW people they have nothing to fear from us. The Black people who kill and loot and are “thugs”, are the same as the white people who kill and rape. They are not us and we are not them. If we lived in a world where officer Wilson had no reason to have a potential unconscious fear of black people, Brown may still be alive. But he did have a reason to fear us, because we have let the wrong people paint a bad picture of us as a whole. When I think of black people I think of musicians, scientists, and heroes who have changed this planet. We need to make everyone else see that too. It would be nice to think that we are all one people and that race does not matter...but the sad fact is that it does. I want to fight for a world where being black only means that you get to be proud of your culture and heritage, without coming with the unwanted fear and burden of having to do more to stay ahead and stay alive.

All of this is personal opinion and I am not asking anyone to do something I would not do. We need to take this and make it a positive catalyst for the future. Do not let this become just another dead black body. I create, write, and dance to express that I am not just a black person, but that I am human. We need to all fight to show that we are human. This world is bursting with so many colors and backgrounds that it does not make sense to be afraid of them. The violence, poverty, and hatred that is portrayed to be a “hood” phenomenon or part of black culture exists everywhere. We need to fight to enforce a shift in perspective about how our fellow men and women are viewed in this country. Brown's family wants cops to wear body cameras; let's start there. You put a third party like a camera in the mix and you can see if an action is racially fueled or not. I do not want anymore martyrs, I am sick of these faux revolutions leading back to the same conclusion, and I am doing my best to help people see that we are all we have. It should not be about blame, it should be about showing people why change is needed, and then fighting for said change. We have the spark, let us not lose it.

It starts with us.