A little bit of nothing

I think too much. I was trying to think of a clever metaphor but I think it is much more effective to just write how I think. Which of course means there are going to be an abundance of words that I throw just for the sake of extending a sentence. Sometimes I hate my brain. More specifically I hate that I feel as though my brain works on a different level than others. Not in a more advance, but in a more personal way. Things that don’t get to other people get to me, I internalize tragedies that happen across the country and treat them as if they happened to my family. I go above and beyond to try and solve my friend’s problems because the problem gets to me personally. I like to tell myself that this will help me in my therapeutic future but this is probably unhealthier that I give it credit for.

My mind also has a hard time distracting itself. What I mean by that is that if there is something on my mind, there is almost nothing I can do to get it out. Even by end all solution of dancing cannot clear my head in extreme cases. If there’s a girl I’m into then I cannot stop thinking about her, if there is an event coming up that I am excited about then there is no calming me down, and on the negative side if there is a problem in my life then it will stay with me all day and night. This is a tad bit irritating as you can probably tell, because it seems like everyone I know is better at distracting themselves then I am. Or at the very least they are better at acting like they are distracting themselves.

I realize now that this probably does not make a lot of sense, but such is the curse of my writing style. Its honest and confusing, much like my personality. Hey a simile! Look at that I am already making progress. I guess the point of this is just that I had a random thought and it carried its way through my fingers and onto this post you are now reading. It is kind of funny how the tiniest spark of nothing can build until you have…well something. That something may not be important, but it is more than the nothing that came before it. I’m so used to letting my mind wander and linger, yet still surprised at some of the thoughts I have. Still surprised at how far my nothing has come, and I can only hope that it becomes a very important something one day.